I have not been working for about a year and a half already.  In all honesty, I miss having a job.  Aside from the fact that you become preoccupied with things that needs to be done (so there's very little idle time to kill), having to take home a pay check gives you a little (or perhaps, a lot) sense of self worth.  I stopped working.  It was a personal choice.  I decided not to have a career the moment I learned I was pregnant with Rafael.  During those times it was easy to convince myself that I have made the right decision because I had a very sensitive pregnancy.  I literally have to stop "working" on anything and I needed to stay in bed in order to keep the little one's heart beating.  All those times of having to be stuck in bed at home paid off when our little healthy baby boy was born.

Fast forward nine months, I am still jobless but this time around, I already have a little kiddo that keeps me busy day and night.  I am a stay-at-home mom.  I love my new role.  But sometimes there came an instance when people would frankly tell it to your face how "easy" your life is as if you're doing nothing.  It is during these times that I would start to feel a little "insecure" for not being the income-generating person that they are.

A few weeks ago, I told Ronnie how sad I am for entertaining this feeling of "insecurity" and how I regret not having the career that I wish I had. I started to re-evaluate things and weigh my priorities.  Then I realized, I am actually living the kind of life that I have always dreamed of ever since - to be a full time house wife.

I want Rafael to grow up as a fine gentleman who would remember me as his mom who was always there.  From the moment he learns to take his first step or speak his first word, to that moment of having to bear the pain of a heart break or overcome a failure.  I want to be the mom who he can always run to.  I want to be that person who is always present to give him a hug of comfort or a cheer of a number one fan.  I want to give him all the time that I have in this world (no one knows how long or short that is), hoping that would be enough to show him how much he is very much loved.

I'm choosing to be a stay-at-home mom because I believe, no amount of pay check can ever replace time.